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Real Men-December 10, 2009
Charles Barkley once drew attention for proclaiming that he was not a role model simply because he was famous. Although this is not the only controversial statement ever made by Sir Charles, it is the one that is most often debated. Now, thanks to Tiger Woods, we are again asking ourselves, "What kind of role models are today's athletes?" Should we encourage our young boys to look admirably at men that can make jump shots, hit home-runs, or swing a golf club? The fact remains, and this is the part that Barkley failed to acknowledge, that our children are drawn to those they constantly see on television. Part of the reason for this is that not everyone can dunk a basketball, sing with a beautiful voice, or bring a fictional character to life. When we are young, the possibilities are endless. We think that someday we will be the one winning the Heisman Trophy or the Grammy. After all, we live in America where anything is possible.
I am all in favor of people chasing their dreams. We do live in a country that offers opportunities beyond limits. I am no different than anyone else. My childhood dream was to play middle linebacker for the Dallas Cowboys. I had many "heroes" that wore the star on their helmet: Randy White, Tony Dorsett, Bill Bates. There were other famous men that had an influence on my attitudes as I continued to grow. Among them were Hank Williams, Jr. and Dale Earnhardt. To this day I believe "A Country Boy Can Survive" is one of the greatest songs ever recorded. I love the image of a rebel. Many NASCAR fans disliked Earnhardt because of his attitude. He drove with one purpose: to win. That was something that appealed to me. Hank and Dale were my kind of guys. Still, I would not call them my role models.
My role model was, and still is, a man most people will never know. Everyone that knows him calls him Arthur Gross. Everyone, that is, except my siblings and myself. We respectfully call him Dad. He is the person most responsible for me being the man that I am today. He taught me how to drive, but not at 200 miles per hour. He sang with his family in church, but you could not distinguish his voice. As for football, he gained most of his knowledge watching me play in high school. So what did he do that was so great? He not only taught me how to be a country boy, he showed me how to be a man. He did not simply tell me how to fill my "role" in life; he "modeled" it for me. That is what a role model does. It is from Dad that I learned the importance of having Jesus in my life and making sure your family is involved in a good church. By watching how Dad honored, protected, and loved Mom, I learned how a lady should be treated. Witnessing the long hours Dad worked at his job and at home instilled in me the proper way to provide for a family. Dad would always put activities with his family ahead of friends and there was never any doubt that only one woman was ever on his mind. It is from Dad that I learned being a man is not defined by the number of women one can get in the sack. A real man finds that one special woman and makes her, in the words of another Hank, Jr. song, the "Queen Of My Heart."
I agree with Barkley in that athletes should not be role models. Unfortunately, many kids do not have the advantage that I did. They have fathers, but many of them choose not to be the role model they should be. Fathers, unlike athletes, cannot use the excuse that they do not want to be a role model. It is their job. Many fathers in America have become lazy or absent and this phenomenon has led to most of the societal ills that plague our country today. Being of the male gender does not automatically make a person a man. A real man keeps his pants on unless he is with his wife. A real man protects and provides for his family. A real man does not let another person, especially someone he only sees on television, teach his boy how to be a man. It is time that America's fathers accept their responsibility to raise the next generation to be moral. There is nothing wrong with admiring the ferocity with which someone hits a quarterback, the nerve someone possesses to bump and run at high speeds, or the talent someone has to play almost any musical instrument known to man. There is also nothing wrong with children dreaming of someday pitching a no-hitter in the big leagues. It is tragic, however, to not teach our children to uphold a moral standard whether or not they achieve great feats. What America truly needs is fathers that are real men, and she needs them now.